Jenn's World

April 10, 2009 - 4:41 a.m.

'...[R]eavers talk by making smells,' Averan said. 'The philia on their faces lets them "listen" to each other, and the ones above their bungholes make smells.'

A skeptical lord crowed, 'So you're telling us that they talk out their asses?'

'Yes,' Averan said. 'In that way, they're not too different from some people.'

—David Farland, Wizardborn

Hello, my name is Jennifer McBride and this is my blog (duh, right?). I'm an aspiring writer with two unpublished novels under my bed. "Practice" is what I call them. Numero tres, roughly titled "Godsplay," is 10,000 words and counting and will be my break-out novel, when it's finished.

But until you see me at Barnes and Noble elbowing all the other fantasy books out of the way with my B.A.F.S. (big-ass fantasy series), you can find me here, wasting my time in beautiful, bloggish nothings. I have a couple of short stories published, and hopefully more in the pipeline, though the state of the economy's made things more difficult, at least according to some people I know.

In my day job, I was a newspaper reporter. I was promoted to editor less than a year after I was hired, but I left for a job that wouldn't destroy my health, family life, etc. Since then, I've been freelancing my writing, design and photography. I have two awards in page design to my credit.

Most of the time, I'll be talking about the books I love, the community I inhabit, and the craft I adore. I'll start my blogs with a quotation of DOOM!!! from whatever book I'm reading at the moment (see above). Though sci-fi/fantasy is my drug of choice, I also love history (especially HERstory), mystery and generally anything that has to do with...well, anything. Board games are my idea of a good time.

If I ever actually comment on my real life, the stories are likely to be completely, utterly fictional. Why can't blogs have subplots? For instance, when I can't think about anything else, maybe I'll share steamy secrets about my invisible boyfriend, Fred.

I mean, think about it...what would it be like to have sex with the INVISIBLE WOMAN?

"No, left....left...right...ri—THAT'S MY ANKLE, YOU IMBECILE!"

Haha. For readers, juvenile humor is definitely a must. Worksafe-ness? Mostly.